♡蝶蝶不朽♡

我豁出去了 我决定考博

昨天 突然想回到过去 回到中学的时候 每天穿着校服 骑车上学 装做漫不经心的走进教室 交作业给组长 上课 课间 操场 午餐 午休 写作业 问问题 发发卷子和作业本 再上课 下课 加课 放学 骑单车回家 继续写作业 也许还会接电话 也许还会讲作业 也许还会听广播 然后很晚睡。。。

 

北京又下起雪来 我们房间的落地窗view还不错 白色的操场 跑道 因为是北校区 所以这并不是我熟悉的校园 但这里很安静 很美

前些天听到一首很老很老的歌 是我初中或者高中时喜欢的一首歌 赵传的 好像是叫爱要怎么说出口 里面有一句我曾经特别喜欢过-第一次握你的手 指尖传来你的温柔 不知道为什么 就是觉得这句话好美好美 呵呵 当时真傻

我常会用一首歌记录感情 心境 体会 慢慢积累起来 我渐渐习惯在一首歌中回忆过去 不论是在路上 超市里 车上 在任何地方

今天看见michelle开始用田格本写中文 呵呵 好多年不见的田格本 真可爱  

希望天气快快好起来 我喜欢阳光灿烂的日子

昨天开始 我搬到了北区来住 成为CET(China Educational Tours)同学的同屋 我的同屋是个德国姐姐  她叫Michelle 她来中国学中文 我们会在一起住三个月的时间  这对于我们都是新的开始 只是她之前从来没有学过中文 所以我现在一睁开眼睛就要开始讲英文我滴输出系统还有点混乱 呵呵

今天这个超浪漫的日子 我们这期的所有同学一起参加了一个活动…就是要带他们逛逛北京 大概熟悉这里的环境 好特别的情人节…

加上马上就要开始的新学期还有我的CET生活 这是个新的开始 我希望尝试更多 努力更多 也希望能和我的michelle开心的度过这三个月的时间

 

 

 

 

 

 

我又过了一个实验室的周末

今晚22点58分拉开纯水室的门惊喜地发现了若楠 可怜的他大概现在还在测浓度

虽然是周末 但我们612总是这么热闹 呵呵 

其实想想还好 周末的48小时我有近一半的时间在实验室工作

今天还跟阿柴开玩笑说咱们实验室的女生像男生一样地去工作 男生像动物一样地在战斗

我们每天为赶在23点锁楼门前下楼争分夺秒 如果饿了还会一起去吃东西 然后继续为24点锁宿舍门争分夺秒 

我喜欢这个team 喜欢大家忙碌的样子 喜欢闲下来的时候一起聊天 喜欢每天都这样一起努力

明天是周一 一个新的开始 继续我们痛并快乐的实验室生活     

我被淹没着，被一种情绪淹没着。。。

一时间我忘记了一直快乐着的忙碌着的和隐藏着的

我用了一年的时间把自己彻底变成了研究生

我进入了一种状态

我习惯每天寝室到实验室 实验室再到寝室的一段路

习惯用timer倒数自己的时间

习惯A T C G 四个字母

习惯着整日忙碌 忘记时间

习惯着各种各样有机药品的味道

习惯着忘记休息

习惯着接到朋友的电话无奈的说我真的很忙

习惯着用bp也衡量我们的距离

。。。。

这就是我一年的研究生生活

我努力让每一天都有意义

但此刻却被一种情绪淹没 淹没

 

我不敢回忆过去的日子 没有给自己时间回忆

听到一首歌才给自己找到答案

现在我拥有的事情

是过去是回忆给的一半的感情

 

我再继续往前走

勇敢的

努力的

This goes out to someone that was
Once the most important person in my life
I didn’t realize it at the time
I can’t forgive myself for the way I treated you so
I don’t really expect you to either
It’s just... I don’t even know
Just listen…
You’re the one that I like, the one that I need
The one that I gotta have just to succeed
When I first saw you, I knew it was real
I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel
That wasn’t me; let me show you the way
I looked for the sun, but it’s raining today
I remember when I first looked into your eyes
It was like God was there, heaven in the skies
I wore a disguise 'cause I didn’t want to get hurt
But I didn’t know I made everything worse
You told me we were crazy in love
But you didn’t care when push came to shove
If you loved me as much as you said you did
Then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit
Now you pushed me away like you never even knew me
I loved you with my heart, really and trul
I guess you forgot about the times that we shared
When I would run my fingers through your hair
Late nights, just holding you in my arms
I don’t know how I could do you so wrong
I really wanna show you I really need to hold you
I really wanna know you like no one could else know you
you are number one, always in my heart
And now I can’t believe that our love is torn apart
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you
I knew you gonna sit and play this with your new man
And then sit and laugh as you’re holding his hand
The thought of that just shatters my heart
It breaks in my soul and it tears me apart
At times we was off I was scared to show you
Now I wanna hold you until I can’t hold you
Without you, everything seems strange
Your name is forever planted in my brain
Damn it, I’m insane,
Take away the pain
Take away the hurt
Baby, we can make it work
What about when you
Looked into my eyes
Told me you loved me
As you would hugged me
I guess everything you said was a lie
I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes
Now I’m not even a thought in your mind
I can see clearly, my love is not blind
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you
I just wish everything could have turned out differently
I had a special feeling about you
I thought maybe you did too
You would understand, but…
No matter what, you’ll always be in my heart
You’ll always be my baby
Our first day, it seemed so magical
I remember all the time that I had with you
Remember when you first came to my house?
You looked like an angel wearing that blouse
We hit it off, I knew it was real
But now I can’t take all the pain that I feel
Reach in your heart, I know I’m still there
I don’t wanna hear that you no longer care
Remember the times? Remember when we kissed?
I didn’t think you would ever do me like this
I didn’t think you’d wanna see me depressed
I thought you’d be there for me, this I confess
You said you were my best friend, was that a lie?
Now I’m nothing to you, you’re with another guy
I tried, I tried, I tried, and I’m trying
Now on the inside it feels like I’m dying
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you
And I do miss you
I just thought we were meant to be
I guess now, we’ll never know
The only thing I want is for you to be happy
Whether it be with me, or without me
I just want you to be happy